no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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