How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
