But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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