Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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