you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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