i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
