I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
