Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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