I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
