Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
