its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
