yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
