you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
