The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
