I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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