i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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