I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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