hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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