I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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