Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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