i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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