trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
