Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
