i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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