Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
