Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
