Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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