Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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