Sacagawea was the original milf.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
