i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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