If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize