I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
