This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
