I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
