i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
