i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
