genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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