He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
