HIV tests are more positive than that guy
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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