so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
