wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
