After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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