Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
