"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
