No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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