the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
