I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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