My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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