I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
