What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize