Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
