Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
