She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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