Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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