I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
