She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
