i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
