I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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