Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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