herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
