She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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