Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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