When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
